Jacob

Two months to the day
and you died instead.
I am moved to tears, which like a glacier, silent inching down my face.
Next to me, falling on my shoulders
his pain wracked sobs sinking under my skin, each tear a tiny petal.
Another boy who tried to die.
Two months to the day
and you died instead.
Stuttering candles remain lit around
the irregular geode that's your honorary tombstone.
Glowing now in a tranquil white.
Although to many a ghost,
you saved someone else's life in your tragedy.
Two months to the day
and you died instead.
My heart, though I never knew you
holds a steady metranome rhythm. Steadfast and solemn.
Because you kept another heart beating.

Two months to the day
and you died instead.
Amen.

"DEATH, BE NOT PROUD. THOUGH OTHERS HAVE CALLED THEE MIGHTY AND DREADFUL, THOU ART NOT SO."

Last Night

Spent the night
hiding under your apartment lights.
lying in your bed, the blue glow
of the TV making shadows on my head.
Your breathing calms me,
having been so firey
just a few hours ago.

From Your Lips I Draw The Hallelujiah

It's as easy as it's always been
to keep you wrapped around my little finger.
Needless to say, difficult.
You play a hard game, like an unpredictable hand of blackjack.
But I learned long ago how to count your cards.
It's a waiting game, for when you get anxious again.
Or, more likely, when you get that hunger only I've been able to satisfy.
What's funny is you no longer make me meek.
I'll blatantly give you the once over while your eyes dart over me.
Admit it.
Our little secret is the silent talk of the hall.
And nothing is more passionate then something forbidden.

the who or what

can't.
won't.
write about my sins here I
can't.
won't.
tell anyone what makes me sigh.

will.
not.
won't tell anyone that he
will.
not.
won't ever find out about me.

crazy world, crazy faces
in other times, other places
i don't see you standing there
when i run my fingers through his hair.

please.
forgive.
it's so terrible oh but God,
please.
forgive.
like many others I am flawed. but

kiss.
me.
i want to feel your lips on mine please
kiss.
me.
for God's sake stop the time.

crazy world, crazy faces
other times, other places
i don't see you standing there
when i run my fingers through his hair.

taking over for Doctor Manhattan

did you ever think of the effect we have on the people around us? that if they look at us for a moment we've become a part of their entire life, albiet a small and insignificant one. and the people you look at, you give them a glimpse into who you are, your life. they are as much a tiny part of it as a single star is to the universe but they're there none the less. every day were tangled in the lives of hundreds of people. they can pretend we're never there or make us the focus of their existance. but what happens when you no longer want to make an effect on anyone? does this body of ours simply stop, or by its biological functions keep living? are you able to consider yourself alive when your desire to interact with humanity disappears? every day we take for granted that we are alive, that out of microscopic organisms come our form, a million times larger with some of the most complex systems inside of our bodies, fully developed. Except that our brains can't even begin to comprehend that we're alive. that our bodies are in fact, as solid as it can be and that our footprints do indeed sink into mud.

we exist, we leave our footprints in the soil of the universe, and in all realitive time we fade. so what happens when you feel like your impact in another's life is irrelivant?
fade into obscurity.

attention

write me.
turn me into the story for an age
or for a night
call it a complex
but for once i want to see
my face in your camera lens,
my body in your bed
my song in your heart
myself painted by your words
the center of your universe
if only for tonight

make them dance with you

synestheic
pretty synestheic
doesn't need to move
to feel and connect.

Pillow Talking

Talk.
Pretty.
Dirty.
Talk pretty dirty.
Pretty talk.
Dirty talk.
Pretty dirty talk.
Dirty pretty talk.
Let me be your camera's model,
A body confident not to coddle.
Just tell me how, tell me what.
"Kiss me fool, I'm not a slut."
Need you now, need you there.
Fingers sliding.
Underwear.
Whisper.
Joke.
You whisper jokes.
I'm riding promises you never spoke.
Blow some steam, blow some smoke,
Let me touch you.
Let me soak.
A tisket, tasket. Make it
Fucking fantastic.
Make my body something spastic.

Would've touched your lips

Should you have asked me for a kiss
I'd have given you my fingertips.
To caress your readied lips.
And my knees to bruise your hips.
Ready up the whips.